Outline For Feeding A Healthy Family
by Carol Mellen

Parents and children each have responsibilities in the family feeding relationship. If your child is not gaining enough weight, review the parent vs. child responsibilities in feeding.

Parents are responsible for:
What food is brought into the house
How the food is prepared
When the food is served
Where the food is served
The child is responsible for how much they eat, or is they eat at all.

What: Choose foods that provide adequate protein, calories and enough fat- but not too much sugar. Meals should consist of a protein source (meat, egg, cheese, peanut butter), starch, vegetable, fruit, healthy fat and dairy. Snacks should be considered small meals like fruit, cheese and crackers and milk.

How: Prepare foods that provide the correct texture for age and ability with added fat, like nonhydrogenated margarine, canola or olive oil. Moderate amounts of sugar and salt please.

When: Serve regularly scheduled meals and snacks. Children love consistency and like to know when their next feeding will be. Regular feedings help the child gauge how much to eat. If the child misses a feeding and gets overly hungry, they will not be able to control the amount of foods eaten and may seem agitated. It is comforting for the child to know that they will get their meals on time and how long it will be until they get a snack. The child will begin to know how much to eat at one meal to satisfy them to the next feeding. Try not to allow extra food and drinks in-between meals and snacks because it will interfere with the child learning to eat adequate amounts at meals and snacks. Serve 3 meals and 2-3 snacks/day to provide adequate opportunity to consume enough food and beverages.

Where: Meals should be eaten at the table, preferably with other people in a pleasant environment. Turn off the TV and remove other distractions (toys, games)- this will allow the child to pay attention to feelings of fullness. It is difficult to pay attention to how much you are eating when distracted by the TV. The child should be seated while eating and given adequate time to eat. After 30-40 minutes the food should be put away. This helps the child tend to the business of eating and to eat enough at that meal or snack to hold him over until the next feeding. Try not to feed your child in the car or places where they cannot do their job of regulating how much to eat.

The child is responsible for how much they eat, or if they eat at all. The child can only do this if the parent does the what, how, when and where. Allow the child to eat a variety of foods, respecting their food preferences when possible. Allow your child to choose which vegetable or fruit to have with their meal. It is your job to make sure a fruit and vegetable, starch, protein food and milk and is included. Watch the amount of liquids that your child drinks. Keep fruit juice to 4-6 oz. per day, limit or avoid water if your child is not gaining enough weight. Give 4-6 oz of milk with meals. Try giving the milk mid- way through the meal so the child does not fill up on fluids. Don’t push, beg, or bribe your child to eat. This negative attention lets your child know that he or she can get your attention by not eating- children love attention, and dislike being ignored. Encourage good eating behavior and ignore poor eating. When your child refuses to eat, simply remove the plate. Remember, no food or drink until the next scheduled meal or snack time. Your child will learn to eat enough at meals and snacks to get them to their next feeding.

When the child does the parent’s job or when the parent tries to do the child’s job, there is conflict in the feeding relationship and problems occur.