The
Way We Do The Things We Do
By Sandy Wainman OTR/L
We, parents and professionals, don’t MEAN to have double standards with
children. Sometimes we act without realizing the facts. We, ourselves, may
elect to take a new competitive position or enter an unknown field; but it
is always with the assumption that we will eventually “get it”/master
the necessary pieces that allow us to succeed. We would be foolish –
and unlikely – to say “this really won’t work and it won’t
matter to me that unending daily embarrassment is what I choose.”
When we choose to enter something new of significance, we identify it – a new job, a change where we live, etc.; but the “little things” that we do all day, we rarely notice. Daily, we jot down a phone number and we don’t break the pencil point. We read and our eyes move across the page. We see the difference between “dread” and “bread”, “poor” and “boor”, “Mom and “wow”! And, to us, it is a no-brainer to also write those words.
The automatic way that we do many, many things is partly a reflection of a part of the brain that we hardly know about. The “brain stem” is to our intelligence, what a program is to our complex/high-potential computer. What we accomplish with our computer is dependent upon the computer receiving the information – receiving it with the correct timing – and in a manner that does not make the computer have to search repeatedly or be overloaded and jumbled. Fair to say that the output is as good as the input?
Our assumption with our children is that if they are smart, they can do all the work of school or consistently keep up with the behaviors and social skills expected at their ages. We are pleased when their performance goes well; but the displeasure of performance not going well is complicated by our being baffled as to “why”? We have not known that the brain stem’s role (to take in what we see, what we hear, how it feels to hold a pencil, how to keep up the movement of our eyes so that we can read for a good while and how to keep our eyes and hands moving, but not tired), is a pre-requisite for handing a paper in on time, and immediately being ready for the next task.
The complicated-sounding phrase, “sensory integration” or “sensory processing” simply means that we can count on the brain stem to put together/integrate signals to do the complex automatically/without our knowing it is being done. I urge parents and professionals, alike, to familiarize with the present knowledge about the role of the brain stem in the skills we expect to see. When an intelligent child acts unmotivated to complete his writing; does assignments fast and sloppy – or sees written work as a struggle; when “no” or “clinging” persist past the age-window of “toddler twos”, suspect not intentional opposition but symptomatic struggle.
The principle that a child loves to succeed and yearns to gain our positive feedback is pretty universal. Saying “I can’t” hurts pride, so “I won’t” or “don’t want to” is likely a silent statement of distress! The earlier the smaller – and the easier – to correct. Remember, output is highly related to input!
Sandy Wainman is an Occupational Therapist and co-founder of LifeSkills,
the first clinic specializing in Sensory Integration in the metropolitan Orlando
area. She is a graduate of Columbia University, is SIPT certified, and is currently
director of both LifeSkills and LifeSkills Academy, an SI Transition / K-4 school.